十年一品温如言 A Heartwarming Decade: Chapter 3 This Tree Branch Won’t Let Me Stay

Ah Heng had thought of countless scenarios of meeting close relatives for the first time, whether it would be getting emotional, tears, or all sorts of feelings. Like her adoptive mother when watching Huangmei opera [1], feeling very touched. Perhaps it would also feel very awkward and unaccustomed, having to be very careful around them. Due to the distance in time, unfamiliarity would arise.

I have thought of each of the scenarios, but none of them actually happened. This reality is real because it rejected all assumptions.

"Si Wan, what happened to you?" The dignified old man swept his eyes slowly from Ah Heng to the teenage boy who was soaked in water.

"Grandfather, Yan Xi and I were just playing around. We were not careful..." Si Wan did not mind, he was smiling.

The old man nodded slightly, and then he looked back at Ah Heng.

Ah Heng’s heart was beating very fast, it felt like time seemed to stop at this moment. The old man, known as "grandfather," looked at her, leaving her nowhere to hide.

"What was your name before?"

"Yun, Heng." Ah Heng grew up in the south, although she learned how to speak Mandarin, but she was not fluent. Therefore, she stuttered, speaking one word at a time.

"According to the seniority of Si Wan, when your mother had you, I gave you a name called Si Er, but this name is now occupied by someone else. You should just use your original name, from now on you will be called Wen Heng." The old man pondered for a while, looking at his granddaughter before opening his mouth to speak.

Occupied? Ah Heng was a little confused. Her eyes unconsciously look at Si Wan, and finally stop at his hands. The teenage boy’s finger gaps were so swollen that the veins could be seen very clearly, and the water drops on the cuff slide down along the back of his hand.

"Aunt Zhang, take Wen Heng to her room." The old man told the middle-aged woman standing on the side, and then looked at Si Wan, "Go clean up. You are old enough, still being like this. "

The depth of love is a responsibility.

When Ah Heng walked up the curved wooden stairs with Aunt Zhang, she thought of the old man's way of teaching Si Wan. That sentence flashed through her mind.

When she was very young, her adoptive father told her that family relationship can not be calculated by addition or subtraction. Even if you expect no return from the efforts you made, there is no such thing as none, and fussing over minor matters would not exist.

Since there is no love, so it will be indifference?

The teacher in the small town have taught the contrast of this as well.

"We are here." Aunt Zhang went to the corner of the second floor and opened the bedroom door.

"Thank you." Ah Heng’s gentle voice was accompanied with the strange tone of Mandarin.

Aunt Zhang’s expression was unnatural. She looked at Ah Heng for a while, finally sighed before turning around to leave.

Ah Heng dragged the suitcase into the bedroom, but she was suddenly confused.

Full of warm blue colour, delicate and warm design, everywhere reveals the breath of life. Exquisite blue shell wind chime, a soft big bed that could fit four of her, revealing the warm breath of bedding.

Has someone lived here before? It was as if she had broken into someone else's private space, Ah Heng felt very confused. She put down her suitcase and sat down on the swivel chair beside the glass round table.

As she looked down, she saw several delicate straw dolls on the round table. There was grandfather with white hair and beard, grandmother with curved eyebrows and a cross pendant, father in navy uniform with a cigarette, gentle mother with beautiful hair, and there was also a boy with raised eyebrows, big eyes and deep dimples. Is this....the whole Wen family?

Ah Heng looked at those dolls who had a charming innocence, her nervous mood was strangely relaxed. She reached out and caressed their silhouettes with her fingertips.

"Do not touch Er Er's things!"

Ah Heng was so scared that her hands were trembling. In a moment, the doll fell on the carpet. She turned and looked at the woman who suddenly appeared in front of her. She suddenly felt sad.

When she was a child, she knew that she and her father, mother and brother Yun Zai did not look alike. She asked her mother: "Mother, why don't I look like you?"

"Ah Heng, you look prettier this way." Mother looked at her lovingly and laughed, "Straight eyebrows brings a more elegant aura to a person than curved eyebrows."

Mother Yun has the classic curved eyebrows, the delicate beauty of Jiangnan[2] women; Ah Heng has straight eyebrows, delicate and gentle eyes, which look like some of the bright and clean landscapes.

The middle-aged woman in front of her happens to have those beautiful straight eyebrows.

Ah Heng stood up, her body was very stiff. Ah Heng kept on staring at her, looking at the woman go to her side, gently squat down to pick up the fallen doll, and then she stood up.

She didn't ask for her name, how old she was, whether she was doing well or not, or questions any mother would ask. She just looked at her with a glance. Her eyes were shining brightly at first, but then she coldly said: "Don't touch anything in this room."

Afterwards, she left.

Ah Heng looked at the woman's back, suddenly a deep feeling of inferiority slowly released from the bottom of her heart. Who is she? This child wanted to crush herself and become untouchable dust in the air.

Ignoring is more cruel than abandoning.

Mother, that gentle and soft word.

Ah Heng's mother.

Mother, mother.

Ah Heng was hugging her suitcase, crying out of shame.

It was expected by Ah Heng that at dinner that day, only the head of the family, her grandfather, was present. There was no father, mother, or even Wen Si Wan, who had seen her.

The old man asked her a lot of questions. Ah Heng was always nervous and incoherent until he wrinkled his eyebrows.

"I have already informed the school. You and Si Wan will go to school together tomorrow. If you have any questions, ask him."

In the early morning, Ah Heng met the secretary that had brought her to B city again.

Si Wan was sitting in the front passenger seat, Ah Heng was sitting in the rear seat on the same side as Si Wan.

Growing up, it was Ah Heng's first time coming to the northern area, so naturally it was a new experience for her. Tired crowds, strong and charming Beijing dialect, tall and neat buildings, surrounded by exquisite courtyard houses....The same city, different atmosphere, but it perfectly blends together.

"Si Wan, there is a traffic jam ahead." The gentle Secretary Li turned around looking at Si Wan while faintly smiling, with a tone of inquiry.

"We are very close to the school, Wen Heng and I should get off first, right Uncle Li?" Thinking and pondering, looking at the long line of cars that have been blocking the road for nearly 20 minutes, he politely smiled in response.

Ah Heng was carrying her schoolbag on her back, following Si Wan, not too far or close, just an arm's length distance.

A long time later, Ah Heng stood stiffly beside Si Wan, at an arm's length distance.

At first he didn't notice it, later he realized that Ah Heng only treat him like this out of the group of friends. Despite being a young gentleman, he couldn't help but feel gloomy.

"Girl, I am your brother, brother!" Si Wan put his hand gently on Ah Heng's head, while joking.

"I know." Ah Heng replied frankly.

It was because he is her brother that she clearly remembered that he didn't like her near him.

Cherishing someone cautiously, Si Wan will not understand, just as he does not understand why he would give up Ah Heng again and again.

Si Wan chose a pathway, walking through a narrow alley. Ah Heng lowered her head silently trying to remember the pathway, until they had reached to the end of the pathway, and saw the busy crowd.

The reason why fate is so powerful is that it can stand at the end of the journey to see the amazing encounters it had set for you along the way. Those encounters, although you may often praise them in your heart for being irreplaceable, their existence were just a natural occurrence looking back, as if a piece of the puzzle that is missing, eventually exists just to complete the puzzle.

This was the second time Ah Heng saw the person she liked. He was sitting on the street corner, in the middle of a group of old people, sipping the coarse porcelain bowl of soy milk.

The slender white fingers held onto the edge of the bowl, his black hair was so soft that it naturally hang down along the forehead, just covering the side of his face, showing only the tall and delicate nose bridge. She could clearly see every curly strand of his hair, the disordered thread beside the first button of his dark blue school uniform jacket, but his face was completely blank.

At that time, it was 7:58.

"Yan Xi, you're going to be late, hurry up!" Si Wan got used to it. He patted his shoulder, his long legs continuously moving forward.

Ah Heng silently looked at the teenage boy, who lazily raised his slender finger in the direction of Si Wan, without raising his head.

Yan Xi, this seemed like a girl's name.

Seeing that the teenage boy's hair was stained with soy milk, Ah Heng faintly smiled, gently taking out a white handkerchief from her pocket and then putting it quietly on the dusty wooden table before leaving.

The young man did not look up. At that time, he seemed to be indifferent to anyone who was a stranger to him.

Translator Notes: I was confused with the title of the chapter, but I am guessing tree branch might be a reference to a family tree (a chart that represents the relationships among a family). Each tree branch represent a relationship between two family members, so I am guessing in this context it might mean a certain family member was unwilling to let Ah Heng stay.

Notes:

[1] 黄梅戏 Huangmei opera- One of the mainstream opera in China which also includes Beijing Opera, Yue Opera, Yu Opera, and Ping Opera. The costumes used in Huangmei opera is less extravagant than other mainstream operas.

[2] 江南 Jiangnan- An area in China, which is located south of the Yangtze river.

<Chapter 2                                                                                                                   Chapter 4>

十年一品温如言 A Heartwarming Decade: Chapter 2 A Basin of Water Appeared Unexpectedly

Ah Heng's eyes seemed to have a burning sensation when she saw Yan Xi for the first time.

Before coming to B city, everything related to the prosperity of the city was enclosed in the most precious black box of my home. With the irregular onset of the rainy season, the clear and sweet female voice brought warmth within the weather.

She often sat on the bamboo stool in front of the medicine stove while holding a palm-leaf fan. Yun Zai was lying down on the wooden bed not far away. His pupils were as clear and beautiful as the glass balls she played with when she was a child. His eyelashes fluttered as he blinked and gently asked her: "Sister, today's medicine is not bitter, right?"

She held onto the palm-leaf fan, slowing down her movements. She sniffed the strong medicine. She didn't know what to say, not daring to turn around, she hesitated before opening her mouth to vaguely respond: "En.....Not bitter......."

"Sister, since you said it's not bitter, then I believe you." Yun Zai smiled, looked at her with eyes that were full of smiles, his thin face added a bit of vividness.

So, when she fed Yun Zai the warm medicine, her eyes were not willing to look at him.

She was not good, whenever she encounters problems that cannot be solved, she would often choose to escape.

Then, when she left home and was taken to another home, she intuitively ignored the farewell.

From the south to the north, from poor to rich, Wen Heng refused this transition. A better way to describe it, "mild in nature, accepting circumstances with goodwill"; an unpleasant way to describe it, it's inevitable to be "cold, selfish and ruthless."

People in town could not understand, they said that Yun Heng has lived in the Yun family for 16 years, calling them father and mother with sincerity, without a trace of affectation. Now that she has her biological parents, how could she forget about the parents who have raised her?

The daughter-in-law of the chief, who opened a tea shop, raised her eyebrows and scoffed with a smile: "It's a pity that the Yun family has only one broken medicine stove and two outdoor rooms. If her adoptive father lives in the official residence, no matter if there was a sick person living there, and if they were raising a nest of big insects, do you think that girl would stay or leave?!"

This was precisely what happened, Ah Heng's biological family lives in the official residence located in B city. They were senior officials that could cause their small town to collapse by just stamping their feet!

Naturally, Ah Heng couldn't hear these words. At that time, she was clenching her teeth and staring at the car window. She was afraid that she would vomit and ruin this expensive car!

Feeling dizzy, not knowing how much time have passed, the sceneries flew past in front of her eyes nonstop. Ah Heng's mind was blank, her sight was fixed on the clear neon light. The violent sound of wind filled her ears, making her feel very dizzy.

Once those sounds disappeared, the moment she opened her eyes, the car door slowly opened, and the slightly curved long knuckles appeared in front of her with a breath of summer.

Ah Heng admitted that at the time, she had unspeakable expectations when she saw that pair of hands. Later when she thought back on this, she felt like she may perhaps have a bird-like complex[1].

"Welcome, Yun Heng."

"I am Wen Si Wan," the young boy pronounced “Wen” with a clear voice. "Grandfather asked me to take you back."

Wen Si Wan.......Si Wan.....

Ah Heng pronounced his name silently, she remembered when Secretary Li picked her up from the small town, he had told her that the Wen family has a young boy, who is her biological older brother.

She raised her head slightly, looked at his eyes carefully, and then, perceiving something, she looked away quietly and lowered her head slightly in confusion.

Wen Si Wan smiled, when she felt shy, he did not notice. Waving his hand, Si Wan politely said goodbye to his grandfather's secretary and took over the suitcase in Ah Heng’s hand.

Ah Heng looked at Si Wan, at his straight back, not far or close from her, from an arm's length distance.

Being in a city for the first time, children from remote areas are naive in nature, always having some strange sensitivity. She can tell that Si Wan had ill-feelings toward her which she had chosen to ignore, a clear rejection all hidden in his eyes, making her feel awkward.

Palpitating with fear for a short moment, she couldn’t help but breathe in a big mouthful of air, but she still felt depressed.

Following the pace of Si Wan, her eyes slowly wandered to the so-called “official residence.”

Independent white buildings were arranged on both sides of the flat and wide road, giving a bright and clean feeling. It was not filled with gold and silver as she had imagined, but it was luxurious to the point that it exposes people’s desires.

As it was the summer, there were plentiful of trees, and several villas were hidden in the shade.

When Si Wan walked on the stone path, his silhouette was slowly being covered by the big trees. Ah Heng was still in a daze, when she finally returned to her senses, she had lost sight of him.

She froze in place, looking at the forked stone road, not knowing whether to go left or right.

Fortunately this child was gentle by nature, and was not impatient. She believed that once Si Wan could not find her, he would naturally return to the original path. No matter how bad it was, you can always meet people and ask for directions. Wen Mu Xin, grandfather’s name, which Secretary Li had definitely told her.

At dusk, the beautiful white building behind the tree reflected the side of Yun Heng.

Subconsciously, she raised her face and squinted her burning eyes at the setting sun. Followed by the cool and refreshing tree shade, she saw a window dyed in gold colour.

By the window, there was a figure.

His hands were beautiful, his violin was beautiful, echoing a very sharp sound.

His eyes were very big and proud.

As far as the eyes can see, his vision did not have her.

This was the first time she had seen this person, her heart was beating like a drum.

It was just a faint figure, but she could not look away. As if she had been bewitched, she could only stay in place with the posture of looking up, staring through the tree crack with a delicate and nervous mood.

A handsome gentleman there, quietly standing by the window, that memory would stay in her mind forever. However at that moment, it was just a silhouette.

Afterwards, she would often think about him, the ten years they had experienced together. Most of the time, it was her secretly admiring him. Bitter, sweet, it was him who froze those times, however, those times have nothing to do with him.

The sunshine reflected on her braids, Ah Heng raised her head and smiled.

Before she could hear the sound of the violin, but afterwards it was complete silence, she could only hear her own breathing. Slowly, it was as if she was pushed into water by someone. Drowning, losing consciousness, unable to revive.

She didn't know when Si Wan had returned to her side, hands raised and shaped in the form of a loudspeaker, yelling at the window: "Ah Xi, how can you destroy people's ears again? It's the wrong tune!"

Yun Heng was frightened by Si Wan, once again looking up, the figure had disappeared, leaving only the empty window.

Before she could react, in an instant, the window screen was half opened. In the blink of an eye, a basin of water was poured on Si Wan's body, very accurately and without a single drop of water wasted.

Then, the white pair of hands quickly took back the pink plastic basin. With a bang, he shut the windows and pulled the curtains, as if he was exorcising ghosts in one go.

This year was 1998.

Ah Heng could not escape this destined fate. At the age of 15, she finally met Yan Xi.

Many years later, someone asked her: "Ah Heng, be honest, did you fall in love with this beauty at that time?" Ah Heng smiles and said: "How could that be possible?"

At that time, she was young and foolish, she didn't have any other thoughts. She just thought the citizens in the capital were very different. Even his posture when he poured water was especially aggressive, especially..........good looking.....

Notes:

[1]雏鸟情结 Bird-like complex- Chicks and other animals would imitate the actions of the first animal they see and would treat that animal as their mother. For humans, when they see the first important person of opposite gender, they would automatically have good feelings towards them. 

<Chapter 1                                                                                                                   Chapter 3>

东宫 Eastern Palace: The Flowers in the Pavilion Resembles the Snow Under the Moonlight (Part 3)

What a shame to be an unfaithful, unfilial, and unjust person.

I protect a wounded soldier, pulling out the knife beside him, maybe this golden knife can’t hold up the stone beam at all, but when it collapses, it could makes people suffer less.

I said: "Don’t be afraid.”

The wounded soldier nodded, his eyes were full of tears, calling out to me: “General." 

On the verge of desperation, enduring one more moment was still a moment.

The stone beam shook again, making a terrible muffled sound, but it did not collapse.

The falling rocks outside gradually reduced, I did not know how much time have passed before I could no longer hear the sound of falling rocks.

The landslide was finally over.

Everyone climbed out of the stone beam with fear, and found that several huge rocks were on top of the stone beam. The whole stone beam was on the verge of collapsing.

The snowy wind had stopped long ago, and a crescent moon was hanging in the lower part of the sky.

Suddenly someone couldn’t help but exclaim: "Lake! Holy lake!”

I walked around the huge rocks and was stunned. 

Out of thin air, the rapid flowing river in the valley disappeared, revealing the riverbed. Not far away, it was a calm lake. 

The jade coloured lake under the moonlight, looked like a smooth crystal plate. 

Everyone did not dare to speak, fearing that they would make the mountain god angry again. 

The stone beam was about to collapse, it was not suitable to stay here any longer. I took the whole group of people further down around the lake. 

After the landslide, the pathway was much more difficult to walk. This time, more and more horses were injured. The remaining people were all injured, and everyone was feeling dejected. 

Everyone walked quietly through the valley until they found a gentle slope and camped by the lake.

Everyone was sleepy and tired, I had personally guarded the place at night. When it was almost dawn, I switched shifts with another soldier.

I fell asleep on the felt blanket as soon as I laid down.

After dawn, everyone ate some of the dry food and then packed up camp.

After some time had passed, at noon, the sun finally shone into the valley, but there was no warmth.

Even I couldn't think of a way to encourage everyone.

A lot of the dry food has been lost in the landslide, with only a few days of dry food left. If we do not leave the valley, I am afraid we will be in a desperate situation.

I don't know whether my obsession was right or wrong.

Suddenly the person in front called out: "People! General! There are people in the lake!"

I looked up, the lake was full of rocks, there was a huge rock like a screen floating in the water. The rock seemed to have something hidden, but the lake reflected the sunlight, sparkling, it was difficult to see clearly within this light. 

I got off the horse, not caring about anything else, just rushed into the lake. 

The water soon reached my waist.

I took a few more steps forward into the water. 

It was really people, it was them!
 

The Crown Prince and the Ninth Princess were pushed onto the huge rock by the water, most of their bodies were submerged in the water. His Highness had tightly tied his hand and the Ninth Princess’s hand together with a belt.

What was I thinking at that time?

The heavens must have pitied us!

Finally I was able to find them!

I reached out my hand, my finger was trembling. Everyone was watching me, I prayed in my heart, although I didn't know what I was praying for.

Both of them were still alive!

Just that their breathing was weak. 

I exhaled in one breath. My body couldn't help but tremble a bit, almost falling into the water.

It was not until a long time later that I remembered when I reached out my hand to see if they were still breathing, I actually reached out to the Princess first.

What was I thinking at that time?

Maybe I was thinking that if the Princess died, even if the Crown Prince survived, he would not be able to live any longer.

Seemed like a miracle.

The river of forgetfulness, to forget a love.

After the two of them woke up, I really did not expect that they would forget the past.

Ever since the Princess became the Crown Princess, she was always unhappy, wanting to go back to Western Liang.

But she didn't know that she would never be able to return to Western Liang.

She wasn't always unhappy, but sometimes when she seems sad, I would feel a bit worried.

The Crown Prince had invited me to have some wine. He mentioned about the young princesses and asked me which one I liked.

I casually said: "Anyone would be fine."

Anyways I will have to get married, marrying which princess does not make a difference.

His Highness glanced at me, suddenly said: "This is a very important matter in life, you don’t want to choose?”

I smiled as I drank the wine: "It was always the princesses that would choose their husbands. Was there ever a subject who could choose between the princesses? Your Highness, don’t make things difficult for me."

His Highness said: "Is there someone in your heart?"

I glanced at his Highness, who laughed: "See, whenever I guess your thoughts, I would always get it right."

His Highness teased me, but seeing I did not respond, he stopped talking about it. 

I returned to my residence.

During dusk, it started to rain. The branches and leaves of the parasol tree within the courtyard had flourished, reflecting a dark shadow in the room.

Xiao Xue meowed as it came inside.

I bent down to pick it up.

I scratched its neck with my fingers.

There was a small golden bell wrapped around its neck, making a small sound.

I remembered the first time when I saw the cat a long time ago.

At that time, the Crown Princess was still the Ninth Princess of Western Liang. She happily showed me the cat and said: "Look, Gu Xiao Wu won it for me! It's called Xiao Xue!”

At that time, Xiao Xue was only the size of a fist. When she held it, one person and a cat, like a round ball of fluff.

She would often wear a golden chain with a golden bells around her ankle. As soon as she moves, it would make a sharp sound. This time when she moved, one of the bells fell off and rolled to the side of my boots.

I picked it up for her.

She grabbed it with a smile and said: "Ah, right! You don't have to find a goldsmith to fix it for me.” As she said this, she untied her hair band and put it through the golden bell, then she tied it around Xiao Xue’s neck.

Xiao Xue was not used to wearing it, constantly using its claws to scratch the golden bell, the Princess caught Xiao Xue’s claws, not allowing it to scratch the bell, asked me: "Where is Gu Xiao Wu?"

I said: "Upstairs."

The Princess was still holding the cat’s claws, holding the cat while climbing up the ladder to find his Highness on the rooftop.

The golden bells around her ankle sounded as she moved. I could hear her singing.

It was not the song that she usually sings, the song was:"A’Gua went to the riverside to hunt for wolves. The fox came instead of the wolf. When the fox came, it was very sad....A’Gua was very sad....."

Western Liang people call their older brothers as A’Gua, but it also means lover. She only sang these two lines of the song. I heard his Highness’s voice from the rooftop, asked: "Who is singing this terrible song? Is it Xiao Feng?"

"It's me!"

She stood on the ladder with a smile, happily lifting up the cat: "Look, Xiao Xue is wearing a bell."

Half of her body was already out on the rooftop.

I couldn't see her face, but I knew she must be very happy.

I never heard her sing that song again.

Until the end of my life.

Translator's note: I know many viewers of the drama adaptation questioned whether Pei Zhao like Xiao Feng or not, but the answer to that question is pretty evident in this side story, especially this part of the side story.

Off topic, but if any of you were interested in reading Heartwarming Decade, I did upload the first chapter of it which can be found on the translations page. Also we were planning to upload the final side story in November, because we are getting busy with work and trying to finish our courses.

<Side Story 4 Part 2                                                                                      Side Story 5 Part 1>

东宫 Eastern Palace: The Flowers in the Pavilion Resembles the Snow Under the Moonlight (Part 2)

I said: "You can stay by the Princess's side, but from now on, you should regard her as your master and keep your mouth shut. You must not tell the Princess anything about the Jie Shuo clan, especially the things that happened in the past. If you do, I will kill you immediately and take the Princess's life as well." 

The moonlight reflected on her face, she revealed a faint smile, I suddenly remembered that she had no tongue. 

Naturally, she would not let the Princess know. 

Seeing that I understood, she nodded slowly, as a promise. 

Jie Shuo people emphasize on the importance of promises. The feng nu was very loyal, she promised to regard the Princess as her master, naturally she would never betray. 

I don't know where the feng nu had found these herbs. Under her care, the Princess's condition finally became better, gradually recovering her senses and could recognize people. 

The Princess was very grateful to me for allowing the feng nu to stay. After her illness gradually recovered and she could walk around, she especially came here to thank me. 

I said: "It was the Crown Prince who had ordered me to take care of Princess. If Princess wants to thank someone, then you should thank his Highness." 

The Princess was very serious, wanting to thank the Crown Prince, but she was denied entrance. 

The Crown Prince seemed to hate her more than ever. 

"A barbarian woman from Western Liang." He said, "She's ugly, but still have a lover, Ah Zhao..." 

I didn't know what he was going to say, so I looked at him with a smile. 

He choked, but then said: "Besides, I have the twelfth daughter of the Zhao family." 

The twelfth daughter of the Zhao family, that was another hidden worry, but at this moment, I could only say: "The Princess of Western Liang is still young, so maybe she does not know what is affection. Your Highness doesn't have to worry about this."

The Crown Prince did not seem to care.

In the eyes of everyone, the Princess was just a cover. 

When the Princess was given the title of Crown Princess, the twelfth daughter of the Zhao family had also entered the Eastern Palace and was given the title of Liang di. 

It felt like autumn had come again soon after spring ended, the days had gone by just like that. 

The Crown Prince treated the Crown Princess indifferently, so naturally was not good. Occasionally, he would quarrel with the Crown Princess because of Zhao Liang Di. 

The people within the Eastern Palace were not getting along, which gave the Empress countless excuses to interfere with the affairs of the Eastern Palace.
 

His Highness naturally knew about this, but the Eastern Palace itself was like a sieve that was leaking. No one in the world knew about the past fate between him and the Crown Princess, even the Crown Prince himself and the Crown Princess have forgotten all about the past, it was just me having this hidden worry in my heart. 

Fortunately his Highness still has great ambition, and the Crown Princess was an unrestrained person. Within the solemn palace, she raised and played with fishes every day, spending the days unrestrained. 

The river of forgetfulness, to forget a love. 

Maybe this was actually good. 

The Crown Princess was still very childish, at times she would call me "General Pei" with a smile. 

I suddenly thought of the past, which happened a long time ago. 

After the two of them jumped down into the river, I led the army to search the mountain in a hurry. I did not hesitate to make a detour for hundreds of miles. Finally when we found the entrance of the valley, we tried to search the valley with little hope. 

The army has been searching for many days in the deep valley.

A very steep and dangerous cliff with layers of rocks, heavy rain like the waterfall, pouring over everyone, making their faces pale. After a while, the raindrops had turned into snowflakes. 

The snow fell on the vast land.

A horse stumbled and slipped, several people tried very hard to hold onto the rein. The horse's nose started to bleed as a result of the pulling force, but in the end the rein was finally released, and the horse plunged into the furious torrent with a sad cry. The surging jade coloured waves quickly devoured the horse, leaving behind only white foam in the whirlpool. 

Someone murmured: "What kind of place is this?" 

It snowed during the eighth month, it was not rare for it to snow at this time. The valley was in the middle of a huge mountain. Only when the sky was clear, were we able to see the sky. During the first few days of entering the valley, the sandstorm covered the surroundings, and then it rained heavily. 

There was no pathway in the valley, people and the horses could only walk cautiously upstream along the river valley. It was a river valley, but also a cliff. There were continuous falling rocks from the top, and a surging torrent below. The river flowed too fast, no matter whether people or horses fall, they can not be rescued.

In the middle of the night, you can only camp on the slope wall, turning around would fall into the water. One time there was a landslide in the middle of the night, causing the mountain to collapse. A hundred people were buried instantly. Since then, every night, everyone only dares to sleep in shifts by the cliff, wrapped in felt blankets. If there was any movement, they will get up and run away.

The people and horses were tired, traveling on this arduous journey all this time. The horses carrying the dried food were always falling into the water.

Running out of dried food.

I have never encountered such a desperate situation while leading an army.

The solider in front of the horse finally couldn't help, but pull my horse's rein: "General Pei, if we go further, I am afraid that no one will be able to come out alive."

I did not answer, I just cheered them on: "Let's go to the open area ahead and make a fire! Roast some dry food to eat!"

It was snowing more and more, only a few people responded feebly.

I know that the morale of the Yu Lin army was almost at its limit. Originally, these Yu Lin soldiers were the children of prominent officials from the Capital. Before heading to a foreign country, many of them thought that it was very easy to obtain military merits. When they had left the Capital, they went hunting, everyone was excited.

Before they had fought in battle with the support of the army from the Anxi Protectorate. The Yu Lin army was only the rear army, when the enemy broke through, they rushed in disorder and thought that it would be a bloody battle.

It wasn't until we had entered the valley, that they had finally encountered the real enemy.

But we cannot retreat.

Because we haven't found the Crown Prince yet.

That person whom I have served since childhood, who will become the ruler of the world.

From the age of six, I knew clearly that I had to protect this person even if my life was in danger.

In front of me, the deep jade coloured foamy torrent had finally calmed down. I could see a hillside ahead. Once the ground was even, I rode the horse and passed down an order. The army was on top of the slope, eating lunch. 

The snowy wind covered the sky, everyone suffered from the bitter coldness. 

I got off my horse and stood in front of the slope, watching the last person in front of me pass by. This time I told a soldier to pay attention to the falling rocks on the mountain. 

Bonfires had been set up, everyone around it shivered. 

The hard flat bread was the only dry food left. 

Several horses' hooves were injured and bleeding. The horses would stamp their hooves on the snow, soaking the snow with blood, which resembled a blossomed inauspicious flower. 

I ruthlessly unloaded the dry food on the horse's back and ordered someone to kill the injured horse. 

The smell of roasted horse meat lingered, and everyone was cold and hungry that their stomachs rumbled. 

I looked at the thousands of people left. More than half of the three thousand army of soldiers have already died, but the Crown Prince's whereabouts was unknown. If we continue to move forward, it would be more dangerous. If we retreat now, I am afraid that many people will also die before we can leave the valley.
 

It was a real dilemma.

It was still snowing.

When the horse meat was roasted, everyone got a piece, I also took one myself. I just took a bite, suddenly the soldier that was guarding the place called out: "Falling rocks! Falling rocks!" 

I was startled, the falling rocks were often accompanied by landslides. Almost everyone jumped up, I called out: "Stick to the mountain wall! Hurry and go up!" 

All the soldiers dodged the falling rocks, the mountain heights echoed a frightening muffled sound. My heart sank as soon as I heard that sound. This sound I had heard before, it was on that terrible night of the landslide. More and more rocks rolled down, which gradually became more concentrated. Some people were hit by the rocks and fell into the turbulence; some people's faces were covered with blood, lying on the ground and crying in despair. More people dodged the rocks while protecting their heads, trying to climb up the mountain. 

I suddenly saw a wide stone beam not far away, just like the eaves of a house, sticking out in midair. However if there was a landslide, I was afraid that such a large stone beam would fall down, and everyone would still be crushed into meat paste. But the rocks were like rain, more and more people were hit by it, falling into the turbulence. I could not hesitate. 

I called out: "Stone beam! Hide under the stone beam!" 

I dodged the falling rocks and pushed a soldier to the stone beam, who was almost hit by a falling boulder. Everyone also saw the huge stone beam lying in the middle of the mountain and climbed towards it. 

I pulled up a wounded soldier and a soldier who almost fell as a result of a misstep. The soldiers pulled up one after another. At last, I don't know how long it took, all of them finally hid under the stone beam. 

The falling rocks fell down like raindrops, we kept silent, looking at the falling rocks outside. 

A number of people were injured, they had clenched their teeth tightly without uttering a half groan. 

These past few days, many of the people and horses were injured. No one dares to say anything in front of me, however there was a rumour spreading around that this was a sacred mountain of Jie Shuo. If intruders disturb the mountain god, then the landslides must be the expression of anger by the mountain god. 

No one knows how angry the mountain god would be, there were more and more falling rocks outside, it became even more concentrated. If half of the hillside collapses like last time, I'm afraid that the stone beam will not be able to stop it. 

The muffled noise grew louder and nearer, and large boulders fell from the mountain. 

I'm afraid there will be another landslide. 

The stone beam vibrated slightly and made a frightening noise. I don't know if there were too many huge rocks falling on the stone beam. Obviously, the stone beam was about to collapse. 

Everyone looked up at the stone beam, and there was despair on everyone's faces. 

I'm not afraid of death, but I'm sorry that I didn't find the Crown Prince because I was disloyal; it was because of injustice that I led the soldiers to die here; I was unfilial to let my parents see me die before themselves.

<Side Story 4 Part 1                                                                                      Side Story 4 Part 3>

东宫 Eastern Palace: The Flowers in the Pavilion Resembles the Snow Under the Moonlight (Part 1)

The title is a verse from the Song Dynasty poem, Spring Jade Pavilion, written by Cai Shen. The poem is about how people's lives within the vast world is like a droplet in the ocean, each and every moment, what is the importance of it?

........................

It was only the ninth month, but there were already a few snowfalls. It continuously snowed the whole evening.

There was a fire in the tent, it was actually warm.

When I opened the tent and walked inside, I suddenly realized that the Princess was gone.

The milk in the bowl was unmoved. I reached my hand out to touch the bowl, the milk was still warm, so the Princess must not have gone far.

The guard in charge of watching over the tent anxiously asked: "General Pei, should we immediately search the camp?"

I shook my head and said: "No need to rush."

I walked out of the camp alone and found the Princess at the back of the mountain.

She sneakily gave beef jerky to a person with disheveled hair and who was covered with a felt blanket, living like a savage person.

I did not walk up close yet, but that person already pulled out the knife.

The gleaming golden knife, which was given to the feng nu within the Jie Shuo camp. It was said that this knife was extremely rare in the Western Regions, which was given by the King of Jie Shuo to his most trusted maidservant, known as feng nu. After being selected during their early childhood, their tongue would be cut off to prevent leaking secrets. Feng nu are free to enter and leave the King of Jie Shuo's tent, gaining the trust of the King, living a luxurious life. Every day they would diligently practice their swordsmanship, able to hide during the night, and kill without relying on weapons. It was said that the nobles of the Jie Shuo clan's greatest fear was the golden inlaid knife. If anyone dared to be disloyal to the King, their heads would be cut off by the feng nu using the golden inlaid knife during the middle of the night within their own tent.

I stopped my footsteps, I raised the wooden bowl in my hands, showing them that there was only milk.

That savage-like feng nu slowly withdrew her golden inlaid knife, I placed the wooden bowl on the ground, quietly retreating. The Princess took a careful look at me before bending down to grab the bowl of milk.

That feng nu ate in a hurry, probably because she hadn't eaten anything in a while, hurrying to drink up the bowl of milk without leaving a single drop left.

I turned around to leave, suddenly the Princess called me. Her Central Plain language was not spoken very well, she stumbled in her words, she said: "General, thank.....Thank you......"

I did not look back, I just stopped, and said: "Princess, no need to be polite."

I didn’t expect her to be so impolite. The next day I saw the feng nu in her tent again, her hands and face were washed clean, her hair that was like felt fabric was cut short. She wore coarse clothes of a servant, resembling a young boy. 

The Princess was a bit embarrassed, and she stuttered, trying to explain to me: "A'Du...she...pity...me...stay." 

I looked at the few Central Plains maids who had been specially hired from the Anxi Protectorate, to serve the Princess. They all kneeled to the ground, trembling, afraid to get up. 

I finally said: "The army cannot take in people of unknown origin. Besides, she is from a different clan. Princess should not make things difficult for this subject." 

The Princess looked at me with her dark and bright eyes, rarely able to say a whole sentence: "But I am also from a different clan."

I calmly said: "Your Highness is the daughter of the King of Western Liang, the Princess that will be married to the Crown Prince in the arranged marriage, not from a clan of unknown origin."

The Princess slowly lowered her head. Outside, it started to snow again, the falling snow hit the tent, making rustling noises. 

After walking south in the snow for several days, the feng nu seemed to still have not given up yet, following from behind, not too far and not too close, not hiding the traces she left behind. 

The trusted aide within the Yu Lin army couldn't help, but ask me: "General, do you want to kill?" 

I did not answer. 

Because the Princess was sick. 

Since expelling the feng nu that day, the Princess has been ill. 

She was very ill, a high fever that would not go away. Feeling dizzy, she would lay down in the carriage every day. There was no skilled doctor within the army, I am just worried that she would never recover. 

During this night within the camp, the maidservant of the Central Plains, who served the Princess, came to me in a panic, saying that the Princess had fell unconscious, only afraid that this time it will not be good.

Although the Princess was very ill for the past few days, but she was still conscious. I wanted to enter the Princess's tent to take a look, but after thinking about it, I went to see the Crown Prince first. The Crown Prince was getting better day by day. When I entered the tent, he was practicing his swordsmanship. The Crown Prince has exceptional swordsmanship, but he would not expose this in front of other people. At this moment, he was in a good mood, doing a sword dance that could shock a dragon, as if there was a bright light by his side, the sword emitting that bright light. Suddenly, the sword was facing towards me.

I was not surprised.

As expected, the sword's edge flicked past my ears, carrying a chilliness, cutting off the curtain. The snowflakes outside suddenly flew in, continuously landing on the lapel of my robe.

I didn't reach out my hand to brush off the snowflakes. It was warm inside the tent, in a flash, those snowflakes gradually melted into water marks on my clothes and disappeared.

The Crown Prince smiled, putting away the sword and then said: "Ah Zhao, you came just in time. It's snowing again, I told them to roast lamb meat, let's drink some wine and warm ourselves tonight."

I said: "The Princess is very ill, does your Highness want to go over and take a look?"

The smile on the Crown Prince's face disappeared in an instant, he said: "That ugly person, I don't want to see her."

I said: "Your Highness is dissatisfied with this marriage. This subject thinks that since we are returning to the Capital, instead of binding the problem to ourselves, we could just end it now."

The Crown Prince stared at me with bright eyes: "How do you want to end it?"

I said: "The Princess is very ill, if she die along the way, it would not be a major issue. We could ask the King of Western Liang to choose another princess for the arranged marriage. If the King of Western Liang does not have any other daughters suitable for the marriage, it is also possible to choose someone from other countries in the Western Regions such as Kucha. Other princesses could be chosen as long as it is a princess from the Western Regions."

The Crown Prince pondered for a moment, but finally he shook his head: "Although you have led the Yu Lin army well and there seems to be no informer within the army, but if we kill the Princess, father will definitely be unhappy."

I said: "Your Highness don't worry, the Princess has been sick all along. Everyone in the Yu Lin army knows about this, so his Majesty would not suspect anything unusual."

Hearing what I said, the Crown Prince was silent for a moment, then suddenly sighed, and said: "Forget it, even though that barbarian woman is hateful, it's not like she wants to marry me. She doesn't have a choice but to marry me, so why kill her."

I said: "Since your Highness has this intention, then why not go and see her. She is alone and her life will be tied to your Highness from now on. Your Highness can't bear to kill her, then just treat her indifferently."

The Crown Prince thought for a while, finally he was convinced by me.

I accompanied the Crown Prince to the Princess's tent. The Princess still has a high fever and was unconscious.

Several maids were standing at the bedside trembling. When they saw us come in, they hurriedly bowed.

The Crown Prince absent-mindedly waved his hand, the maids quickly withdrew from the tent, I was about to bow and leave, when the Crown Prince suddenly called out.

"Ah Zhao, don't go."

He complained: "Leaving me alone with a sick person, what were you thinking?"

I could only turn around, and return to his side.

The Princess was very ill, there was a layer of white skin on her lips. A bowl of lukewarm goat milk was placed on the small table in front of the bed. The maids tried to feed it to her, but they couldn't even feed her half a spoon of milk. It seems that she will not recover. 
 

The burning fever caused her to speak in non-Han language. Although I could understand non-Han language, I only heard her speak in Western Liang language, I could not hear clearly what she had said. 

Where would the Crown Prince have the patience to take care of a sick person, he just sat down for a moment before getting up to leave. 

I couldn't say much, so I could only lift up the hanging curtain of the tent for him to leave. Suddenly she mumbled: "Gu Xiao Wu..." 

I was so shocked that my face turned pale, I turned around to look at the Princess. She was very sick that she had lost consciousness, dizzily laying there. 

These three words seemed to have some sort of magical power, the Crown Prince couldn't help, but stop his footsteps. He turned around and looked at the Princess. 

The Princess was still feeling dizzy, calling out in a lighter tone, but still it could be heard clearly in Central Plains language: "Gu Xiao Wu."

I don't know what expression was on the Crown Prince's face, but he suddenly covered his chest with his hand, as if it seemed like a sudden realization. I was shocked, suddenly many thoughts flashed through my mind. 

If he remembers everything, how should I deal with this situation. 

The Crown Prince finally walked out of the tent. I followed him silently. The snow had stopped outside, and a crescent moon was shining on the desert. 

Nearby was the many army tents. A sound could be heard from a distance. 

The Crown Prince finally lowered his hand and said: "Maybe I have exerted too much force when I did the sword dance, that's why my heart ached, as if I had been stabbed by someone." 

I said: "Do you want a doctor to be sent here?" 

The Crown Prince shook his head and said: "It's okay." Suddenly he said: "I didn't expect that this Western Liang Princess would have a lover from Central Plains." 

I didn't know what to say. 

He sighed again and said: "She is a really pitiful person." 

After escorting the Crown Prince back to the main camp, I was still worried, so I went back to the Princess's tent. As soon as I entered the tent, I found the two maids lying on the ground, obviously knocked unconscious. My heart sank, I silently drew my sword, carefully walked into the tent. 

Under the dim oil lamp, it was the feng nu who was holding the Princess, feeding her goat milk in small amounts. The Princess was so sick that she could not swallow anything, most of it overflowed after one spoonful. The feng nu was very careful, opened the Princess's mouth with the silver spoon, fed a spoonful, wiped off the overflowing goat milk with a cloth, and then fed again. 

The feng nu was very vigilant, she didn't wait for me to approach, she seemed to be aware of something, and suddenly pulled out the golden inlaid knife, standing there alertly. I lowered my sword, she saw that it was me, so she also slowly lowered her knife. 

She finally finished feeding the Princess the bowl of goat milk after some time have passed, but the Princess hadn't awakened yet, her breathing had become heavier. The feng nu seemed very pleased. She took out a herb, and then chewed it into pieces before feeding it to the Princess little by little, which took some time to do. 

The moon rose to the middle of the sky. I stood under the gentle slope, watching the feng nu quietly exit the tent. Before I approached her, she once again pulled out her golden inlaid knife. 

I blocked her knife with my sword, and we swiftly exchanged several moves under the moon, the moonlight reflected the sparks from the intersection of sword and knife. 

Finally I stopped my sword, I knew I couldn't kill this feng nu. 

She also put away her knife, still looking at me alertly like a small animal.

<Side Story 3 Part 4                                                                                      Side Story 4 Part 2>

十年一品温如言 A Heartwarming Decade: Chapter 1 Introduction

Thinking about it, a few years have already passed.

At that time, Ah Heng did not meet her husband yet; at that time, Ah Heng was worried about whether or not she was born from a rock.

Every time when she carried the wooden bench to Chief Wang's house to watch Sun Wu Kong [1], which broadcast on TV every year, her eyes would become teary. This one was the same as me.

Afterwards, she lowered her head and sniffed, heading home from Chief Wang's house. Her house was far away from the school in town. After school she would head home, through this same pathway.

In those seasons, in a town with thousands of households, with boats connected to one another resembling houses, alleys nearby streams, it was impossible to distinguish between spring and summer.

At that time, it was hard to say whether or not Ah Heng was born from a rock, but she was more fortunate than Sun Wu Kong. She was raised by her parents, and she has a younger brother who was bedridden.

The younger brother was kind and well-behaved, named Yun Zai, born with a heart disease.

Yun Zai was raised by the medicine that was prepared by her. Wherever Ah Heng goes, Yun Zai would be able to guess.

During childhood, Ah Heng would often be bullied by the kids in town, being called 'bastard.' When she returned home, she would always be unhappy.

At that time, Yun Zai's illness was slowly getting a bit better, so he was able to learn words from her. She taught her younger brother words, handing him medicine while muttering: "Mother gave birth to you, but not me. Where did I come from?"

For many years, Yun Zai's lips did not show any healthy flush of colour, staring at the bowl of medicine, thinking for a while before he finally said with his colourless lips: "Sister, you are born from a rock."

Ah Heng thought of Sun Wu Kong, but then remembered that her younger brother on the bed has never watched Sun Wu Kong before. "Oh," she said, reluctantly accepting this answer.

But she did not know of the time when Yun Zai's health had improved just a little bit, he had secretly gone to Chief Wang's house to watch the first episode of Journey to the West.

The town was small, so a lot of the knowledge was obtained through biology class in junior high school.

But it’s better not to know too much because that knowledge could collide with your own beliefs.

Fine, so maybe I am not born from a rock, but what do my parents look like?

Ah Heng thought of Yun Yun [2], who had created countless characters for herself. When Ah Heng watched Little Dragon [3], she thought a goddess had given birth to her; when she watched Sinful Debt [4], she sang "My father's home, my mother's home," believing that maybe her parents were educated youths [5]?

In other words, children just worry too much.

Afterwards she was busy dealing with Yun Zai’s illness. As she slowly grew up, she gradually learned how to keep her thoughts to herself.

Father was the only doctor in town, his medical skills he learned had been passed on from generation to generation.

But he couldn't save his own son.

At the age of 13, Yun Zai was already critically ill, but they did not have the money to go see the doctor.

Yun Zai had developed a high fever, she hugged her younger brother who was thin to the bones, and awkwardly said: "Don't be afraid, I will give you half of my heart, they said after surgery you will get better. I will give you half of my heart, then we can survive together."

Yun Zai smiled, his lip showed signs of colour for the first time.

When there was almost no hope left, a very expensive car that was driven from a place farther than the capital city arrived. A man who was wearing a suit got off of the car, and said that he will bring her home.

He said he could bring Yun Zai to the capital city to see a doctor; he said, "Miss Wen, please come with me."

Who is Miss Wen?

Her surname was obviously Yun.

Ah Heng hurriedly packed her belongings, her parents were in tears.

She did not glance at Yun Zai. It would take several years before they could see each other again. At that time, she did not forget, but didn't dare.

Actually, she did not know that Yun Zai did not see her leave, he closed his eyes.

Notes:

[1] 孙悟空 Sun Wu Kong- Also known as the monkey king, this is a fictional character in the novel, Journey to the West. In the novel, Sun Wu Kong was born from a rock, so Ah Heng thought she was just like Sun Wu Kong.

[2] 云云 Yun Yun- A character from the drama, Sinful Debt.

[3] 小龙人 Little Dragon- A TV show broadcasted in 1992, it is about three kids helping little dragon find his mom.

[4] 孽债 Sinful Debt- A drama broadcasted in 1994, it is about five kids going to Shanghai to search for their parents, and their experience as educated youths

[5] 知青 Educated youths- During the cultural revolution (1950- 1970's), the government required that all youths from urban districts be sent to farms, as a way to educate them.

                                                                                                                                   Chapter 2>  

东宫 Eastern Palace: Heavy Frost Made the Cold Ceramic Roof Tiles Seem Bright (Part 4)

I knelt there, listening to my own voice say: "Your Highness suspect that it was my doing?" 

This act was really ridiculous.
 

The loyal Lu Er Lang was killed on the streets. 

My father panicked, he used great amount of effort to be able to communicate with me again. 

My father still wanted to kill the Crown Princess. I coldly said: "If it is something that will displease the Crown Prince, don't try to do it again."

I felt that the Crown Prince was becoming more and more like the Emperor, they were the type of people that would maintain one's composure, but keeping everything to themselves. 

He was someone that will become the Emperor, how could he not be like his father?

My father was unwilling to give up, trying again one last time. As a result, he lost everything.

I was expelled from the Eastern Palace and confined in a secluded palace room.

I could probably guess what the situation was at home.

My father was beheaded for the crime of conspiracy. All males in the family who were over twelve years old were in trouble, twelve years old and under were exiled to a place thousands of miles away. As for the women, how could they not be affected when they are in the same family.

When it started to rain, I stretched out my fan to catch the raindrops, which dripped on the surface of the white silk fan, soaking the fan like tears.

A'Wu said: "Don't worry your ladyship, the Crown Prince is perhaps just angry at the moment. Besides, there is also the minister's support, so it is not something your ladyship should worry about. There will be bad times, but misfortunes could turn into blessings."

I felt too lazy to talk.

A'Wu didn't know the situation outside, my whole family was already destroyed.

When will there be bad times that turn into blessings, the best time of my life have already passed.

Fortunately, this lifetime will not be long, and the remaining days will not be difficult to pass.

The rain gradually became bigger, some of the rain drifted under the eaves and fell on the lapel of my clothes, dampening the clothes and sticking to the skin.

I lowered my head and saw the red mark on my chest, it was the burn from eating crabs with the Crown Princess. Although the injury has gotten better, but it left a red scar that resembled a flower.

What was I thinking at that time, the Crown Princess was really pitiful.

However I did not expect that I would become the most pitiful person.

The sound of the rain was getting louder, the loud sound of raindrops hitting the plantain leaves could be heard. I sat in front of the window, watching the sky finally darken.

The sky was dark.

Li Cheng Yin came during the night. I thought that I would never be able to see him again in this lifetime.

However he still came, he carried a scent of cold rain.

I looked at him with a bit of sadness.

He looked calm and sat down in front of a box.

He said: "I know that you wanted to see me."

I said: "Thank you, your Highness."

That being said, I was too lazy to rise from my seat and bow to him. I no longer cared about the etiquette and respectability.

A'Wu looked at me anxiously, I waved my hand to signal her to leave.

She was very anxious, repeatedly turning around to look at me.

I hardened my heart not to look at her, but just looked at Li Cheng Yin with a smile. A'Wu perhaps felt that the arrival of the Crown Prince was an opportunity for me to beg for forgiveness, so that I could return to the Eastern Palace.

The Eastern Palace seemed like a really remote and unfamiliar place.

The servants lifted the candles, all the candles were lit in the room. Being confined here for so many days, it seemed that it has never been so bright before.

Li Cheng Yin's face was still bright under the candlelight.

I suddenly thought of his birth mother, Consort Shu.

Within the harem, she was a woman that was like the bright moon.

What did she think about before she died?

Her son, or the favoritism she received that aroused the jealousy of the harem.

Or the huge secret that ultimately caused her death.

The servants served us food and wine. Just like the countless nights spent in the Eastern Palace, I sat opposite to him, eating the food together.

Tonight, the dishes were all my favorites.

It must be difficult for him to still be able to remember.

I held the chopsticks, ate a little, and then placed it down.
 

He asked: "You don't want to eat anymore?"

I shook my head.
 

The servants all left, the candlelight reflected on us. 

The shadows were reflected on the same spot, just like the intimacy we had before. 

I remembered many days of the past. After dinner, he would sometimes read a book, so I quietly snuggled beside him, watching the dark night outside the window, and the moon gradually rising. 

The moon was shining on the two of us, I lay quietly on his lap, it was so quiet at that time.
 

During spring when the apricot flowers beyond the curtains have blossomed, he would pick the flower and put it in my hair. During summer when I covered his face with lotus leaves, he would push them aside with a smile, using the lotus flower petals to make a fragrance for me. During autumn, we would enjoy the chrysanthemum flowers while eating crabs. When it snowed during the winter, the two of us would lean by the brazier while listening to the sound of falling snow outside the curtains. 

At that time, I wholeheartedly believed that the one in front of me was my beloved. Between heaven and earth, a pair of lovers that would never betray each other, and never forget each other for lifetimes. 

How stupid and crazy. 

Until now, I really woke up from this big dream, looking around at a loss. 

I suddenly smiled and said: "Your Highness was willing to come and see me, I'm afraid you wanted to ask about what happened to Consort Shu that year." 

After all, I know what the Zhao family has done that year. 

He faintly said: "That's not important anymore."

Yeah, that doesn't matter anymore. He has already taken revenge, no matter what the deposed Empress did, no matter what the Zhao family has done, it didn't matter anymore.

That situation in the past was just an excuse for him to kill the people he should kill, remove the forces that should be cleared, and sit firmly in the position of the Crown Prince until the future, when he could grasp the world with his hands.

I said: "Your Highness is really a cold-hearted person, I thought that your Highness have already cut off all emotions and desires. If I hadn't seen your Highness push the cat into the water with my own eyes, I would have thought that your Highness would not be this direct in showing your hatred."

He did not move despite my words, so what if he drowned Xiao Xue, besides the Crown Princess will never know.

But I know, however I will not tell her.

That stupid girl, let her live in her own stupidity.

I said: "Your Highness thought that killing the cat, she would not like General Pei anymore? If you like someone, you won't change just because you lost something."

The Crown Prince still did not say anything.

I smiled, but suddenly I felt completely disheartened.

"Your Highness has given me medicine for three years, just to prevent me from being pregnant. Your Highness is such a cold and indifferent person, but likes the Crown Princess so passionately?"

I had thought that you secretly ordered people to put medicine in my food to prevent me from being pregnant, deliberately hurting my feelings was just to protect me from being harmed by the Empress.

But it turns out that it was my own delusions.

The Crown Prince still did not say anything. Even though I had mentioned the Crown Princess, he still did not want to look at me.

I thought that there was no need to say more.

I asked him: "Is there any wine?"

I knew there was a wine bottle on top of the box, but I still asked him.

He was silent for a while, before he raised his hands and clapped.

Just like before when I was still in the Eastern Palace, the Crown Prince did not like too many people being around him. Every time he came, he would tell the rest of the people to leave. At that time, I felt very happy, it was only the two of us together.

Sometimes I would be thirsty in the middle of the night and wanted to drink a cup of water, he would clap his hand like that. When the servants outside the palace hall heard it, they would step forward and obey the orders.

At this very moment, I was still thinking of these irrelevant trivial matters.

The clapping sound echoed in the night, the sound of rain could be heard from outside the curtains. This summer rain, how can it be so long and sorrowful, like the autumn rain.

There were distant footsteps approaching.

Someone held a tray with the glass bottle of wine, a very fragrant wine.

That person respectfully placed the wine on the table, and then bowed before leaving.

From beginning to the end, he did not look at me.

I stretched out my hand to grab the bottle of wine, pouring myself a glass of wine.

My fingers were trembling slightly, but luckily the wine did not spill out.

I looked at the wine in my glass cup, it seemed like a good wine, the wine had an amber colour. The fine wine of Lanling had an aroma like tulips, the filled jade cup emitted an amber hue [1]. I raised my cup and drank the wine without hesitation.

The wine feels strong when it went down my throat.
 

I remembered a long, long time ago, when I first entered the Eastern Palace, the Crown Prince had ordered me to temporarily live in the Congyu hall, not far from the Lizheng hall where he lived. I actually liked this arrangement.
 

The Congyu hall was a good place to enjoy the rain. During a hot summer, a waterwheel was installed in the canal. When the summer was hot, the water would flow from the canal and poured on the roof tiles like a refreshing waterfall. 

What I liked most was the roof tiles on top of the Congyu Hall, each of the roof tiles was engraved with the pattern of mandarin ducks in pairs, cuddling each other. 

Each mandarin duck roof tile was washed with water from the canal, clean and spotless, like a black jade. 

What was I thinking at that time?

If the lord was the moon in the sky, then I would be the flower in the water [2].

To accompany each other, like a shadow.

But it turns out, the heavy frost made the cold ceramic roof tiles seem bright, under the cold green comfort, with whom could he spend the night [3]? 

The poison was slowly reacting, I could not see clearly anymore. I could no longer see his silhouette clearly, only seeing that he seemingly stood up, and then turned around to leave me. 

I know that in this life, I will never be able to see him again. 

This separation was long and painful. 

I was leaning on the table, blood was seeping through my nose and mouth, facing death was not sad, I felt relieved. 

There were three things that I actually wanted to say to the Crown Prince. 

I knew that he had killed the cat, but used this matter to force the Zhao family to deal with it. In the end, he expelled me from the Eastern Palace.

I knew that he have given me medicine for three years to prevent me from being pregnant, so when Xu Niang was pregnant, I was so angry that I made an unwise move. 

I knew that even so, I can't help but like him, just like a long time ago when it started. 

But the last thing, I was unable to say it out loud.

So let it be. 

The blood flowed faster, instantly soaking into my clothes. My eyes gradually couldn't see anything, I couldn't control my body, falling down and knocking the food box.

Suddenly, I thought of the Crown Princess. 

I don't know whether or not she has learned how to eat crabs yet. 

I don't know why I suddenly thought of her, perhaps because, when she heard that Xu Bao Lin had died, she was sad for a long time. I don't know if she would feel sad after I die. 

Within the Eastern Palace, if there was someone that would be sad for me, I am afraid it would be her. 

The sound of rain, I gradually could not hear it, the world finally became silent.

......................

Translator's Note: To be honest, I didn't have a good impression of Zhao Se Se when I read the main story, but when I read this side story I just pitied her. She is just like the discarded fan in the poem, she was cherished by Li Cheng Yin, but when she was no longer useful to him, he discarded/killed her. All she wanted was for that one person to love her, but was never able to receive his love.

On another note, if anyone wants to read this author's other novels, I recently found a blog that is translating two of her novels: Brittle and Siege in fog. You can click here to read it. That website has the link to the translations. It's not found on novel updates because the translator does not want aggregator sites to copy their translations, so don't link their translations on novel updates.

We will also be starting our next translation project very soon because we couldn't wait any longer. The majority voted Heartwarming Decade as our next translation project, so we will be translating that novel.

Notes:

[1] This verse is from a poem known as Journey to a Foreign Land, written by the famous poet, Li Bai. The full poem and interpretation of it can be found in this website: https://frommetertomeaning.wordpress.com

[2] This is the lyrics to a Chinese folk song called the round dance song, which describe a woman only wishing to stay forever by the lord's side, and for it to not be a short-lived moment that would disappear in a flash.

[3] This verse is from the poem, Song of Everlasting Regret. Full translation of the poem could be found in this website: http://www.musicated.com/syh/TangPoems/EverlastingRegret.htm

<Side Story 3 Part 3                                                                                      Side Story 4 Part 1>

东宫 Eastern Palace: Heavy Frost Made the Cold Ceramic Roof Tiles Seem Bright (Part 3)

After all she was the Crown Princess, a woman who was more deserving than I am to stand alongside him. Even though they have been married for three years, the two of them have not been intimate with each other.

 

One day the spy by the Crown Princess's side had quietly report back saying that the Crown Princess had went to sleep during the afternoon in her palace residence, and that his Highness had visited her, dismissing all the servants including that servant from Western Liang.

 

She thought it was something great, so she came to report to me.

 

I was still very calm, and laughed: "What else can it be, they were just having fun. His Highness just wanted to scare her."

During the evening, the Crown Prince came to my palace. When he has nothing to do, he would often come over and have dinner with me. I was doing my makeup in front of the makeup table, he picked up a scroll to read, a long time have passed, and he was still reading the same scroll. I glanced at him through the mirror, and pretended to ask unintentionally: "What is troubling your Highness today?"

Crown Prince was surprised and startled, smiling while asking me instead: "Why do you say so?"

I casually said: "The scroll in your Highness's hand, you have been reading it for a long time."

He lowered his head to read the scroll, then put the scroll aside, smiled and said: "Tomorrow I will be meeting up with Prince Wu to play polo, I was just thinking how I can win him."

I suddenly felt bad.

There was no wind during the afternoon, the curtains were hung in all directions, I stared at the Crown Prince from afar through the curtain.

He was sitting on the Crown Princess's bed, and did not do anything. The Crown Princess was in a deep sleep, like a baby. He sat next to her for a while, suddenly he looked around before reaching out his hand to lift up her long hair that was scattered on the pillow, he divided her long hair into several strands, then used a hairband to carefully tie her hair onto the wooden pillar that supported the curtain.

While he was doing such a thing, he snickered and laughed happily.

Like a mischievous child.

If the Crown Princess woke up and got up without noticing her hair was tied on the wooden pillar, her scalp would be in pain.

This type of mischievous prank was not something the steady Crown Prince would do.

But the Crown Princess often cause trouble, so letting her suffer a bit wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

As I was about to turn around and leave quietly, the Crown Princess who was on the bed started to move, and suddenly woke up.

As soon as she opened her eyes, she saw the Crown Prince and was clearly shocked, she shouted and was about to sit up.

She used so much force to get up, even I was a bit startled. I am only afraid that she will pull off half of her hair. At this time, the Crown Prince seemed as though he did not expect that she would suddenly wake up, he suddenly reached out his hand to push her back onto the bed.

The Crown Princess's head had hit the wooden pillow hard, she shouted in anger: "Li Cheng Yin what are you doing?"

She was moving like a fish on the bed, the Crown Prince almost couldn't hold her down, finally he suddenly spoke in anger: "If you keep moving, I will kiss you."

The Crown Princess was so shocked that she immediately covered her mouth with her hand, and stopped struggling, looking at him with her big dark eyes. It suddenly occurred to me that her eyes were like a cat, so moist and clear that a person's reflection could be seen through her eyes.

The room became quiet, with just the two of them looking at each other. The Crown Prince leaned over, pressing onto her shoulders, and her eyes looked at him. I hid behind the screen, I could only see the side of the Crown Prince's face, so I didn't know what was his expression.

It was as if a spell was cast on them, the two people did not move even after some time have passed.

I was suddenly worried.

Right when I was feeling uneasy, the Crown Prince suddenly got up and without saying a word, untied her hair from the wooden pillar.

After the Crown Princess's hair was untied, her hair was messy like a round black cloud spread over her pillow.

The Crown Prince turned around and left.

The Crown Princess just sat there, it took a long time before she angrily said to herself: "What's so great about being so angry all day long."

She got up and tidied her clothes. She sat in front of the mirror and brushed her hair.

Her hair was very knotted, so it was very difficult to comb. While she was combing, she suddenly stopped again, rested her cheek on her hand and stared blankly at the mirror. I didn't know what she was thinking.

I quietly left.

Because I was afraid that I would be seen by others, I walked through the alley, bypassing the Qingliang palace, and going back to my own courtyard. When I got out of the small door in the alley, I saw the Crown Prince standing on the bridge alone. He doesn't seem to know what he was thinking, standing there quietly, looking at the sky.

I looked up, there was nothing in the sky, just a few white clouds.

He looked at the sky, I looked at him, a long time have passed but he did not move, I also didn't move.

I thought of the Crown Princess sitting in front of the mirror in a daze, I couldn't tell what I felt at that moment.

He didn't do anything, just silently standing there alone, this kind of feeling was worse than killing me.

I deeply regret that I had underestimated the Crown Princess, she turned out to be one of my biggest troubles.

 

I remained calm, hiding my thoughts carefully.

It wasn't until the Crown Princess was taken away that I felt the opportunity had come.

Of course I hoped that she would die outside and never return to the Eastern Palace.

Father had sent his most trusted swordsmen and assassins, as soon as the opportunity comes, they would kill the Crown princess outside of the Eastern Palace to get rid of this trouble.

Besides she was taken by the assassin, so the possibility of her surviving was low.

I thought that this disgusting and stupid woman would never show up in front of me again.

On the night of the Lantern Festival, for the first time the Crown Prince have asked me to accompany him to the Cheng Tian Gate to enjoy the lights and the night with the citizens.

I was surprised and happy.

That was the privilege of the Crown Princess.

Although the Crown Prince favors me, he has never taken me to the Cheng Tian gate, after all he has to give a bit of respect to the royal family. The rules have always had to be followed.

Although he has also never taken the Crown Princess to the Cheng Tian gate.

I was extremely happy.

I got up early and waited for the Crown Prince.

The situation of the Crown Princess being taken by the assassin was a very confidential matter, the Crown Prince did not seem to be anxious. The Emperor had caught a cold, so he could not personally come to take control of the Cheng Tian gate. However the Emperor had specially ordered the Emperor's carriage to be used by the Crown Prince. The citizens outside would not be able to tell the difference of who is inside, as long as they see the imperial banners sway, they would shout long live the Emperor.

I was in front of the Cheng Tian gate, the Crown Prince has arrived already. The servant next to him came by my side to lead the way, carefully carrying the lamp, shining it on the pathway ahead.

Step by step, I walked up the Cheng Tian gate. Although I was still wearing clothes of a Liang Di, I couldn't help but feel a bit nervous because the Crown Prince had used the Emperor's carriage and the Cheng Tian gate was surrounded by the Jin Wu army.
 

The Crown Prince stood alone on top of the Cheng Tian gate, with a few sparse shadows, looking at the sea of lights from above, not knowing what he was thinking.
 

Recently he was often like this, making me feel that the person who slept beside me for three years, who should have been intimate, was getting farther and farther away from me.

The servant was standing on the side holding a gold plate, I saw the cloak on the gold plate. I took the cloak and walked to the front of the gate tower. The light reflected my silhouette, my golden hairpin shook as I walked, cloud-like hair with an appearance that resembled the flowers. I slowly approached him from behind, helping him put on the cloak.
 

He turned his head to look at me, he did not say anything.

The alleys and streets was like a chessboard. The east wind blew the flowers and trees during the night, the stars were like rain.

 

I heard the noisy sounds of the drums, there was the dragon dance in the distance, spurting out fire. There were countless lanterns hung on the trees, like thousands of stars falling down and sinking into this world.
 

Baskets of money were carried to the front of the gate tower. The palace maids grabbed the money and sprinkled it from the top of the gate tower. Everyone was trying to grab the money. The people downstairs thought that the Emperor was at the gate tower, they suddenly shouted "Long live the Emperor" and did a worship dance.

I thought although this was the first time, the following years to come in the future will be like this year where I will be standing here with him, standing on top of this bustling city, overlooking this dreamlike Chang'an, overlooking these beautiful rivers and mountains.
 

This world belongs to him, and I will stand by his side.
 

The Crown Prince stood at the top of the gate tower for a moment, and then said to me: "I will enter the palace to see my father, you can take care of this." 

I said: "Don't worry."
 

I know there wasn't any rites that need to be performed, but I need to wave at the citizens underneath the curtains, and then order people to throw some money from time to time to add excitement to this prosperous scene.
 

The Crown Prince led some people downstairs, and the whole Jin Wu army that was surrounding the gate tower had followed him. At that moment, more than half of the people at the gate tower had left.
 

I turned around and ordered the palace maids to get some more money.

I don't know why, but as soon as the Crown Prince had left, I felt that the Cheng Tian Gate fell silent in an instant, it was terribly quiet. The bustling noises in the distance could still be heard, the citizens below were still shouting long live the Emperor. Money were thrown from the gate tower, the clanging sound echoed loudly, like a rainstorm.

But within these voices and noises, there was still a feeling of loneliness.

I suddenly wanted to drink some wine.

A’Wu had ordered a servant to bring a crystal glass cup and pour a full cup of grape wine for me. I drank a sip. When I remembered this wine was from the Western Regions, I couldn’t help but feel dispirited.

As I was about to order a servant to switch the wine to Shaochun wine, I suddenly heard the palace maids screaming within the gate tower. I don't know when it happened, but lamp oil must have been spilled. The gate tower started to burn in flames a moment after, it ignited and spread quickly.

I was still very calm. The commander went to inform the general of the Jin Wu army, but also sent someone to inform the palace. Right after that, the fire became larger and larger, and because everyone was unable to put out the fire, several places were ignited.

A'Wu supported me with her hand, wanting to go downstairs anxiously, but who knew the steps of the gate tower would be filled with smoke, causing people unable to open their eyes. Someone nearby was so scared that they cried, it was an eunuch. I scolded and said, "What are you panicking for!" Before I could hear his words, the fire suddenly grew fiercer, blocking the pathway.

The smoke grew thicker. Like a black dragon attacking everywhere, the place was surrounded by scorching flames. Everyone screamed, shouted, and ran away. I never expected for such a drastic change to happen within a moment. I watched the fire burn in front of me. When I was still standing there, suddenly someone grabbed me. As I was about to shout, I just felt my body became light. It turns out someone had actually lifted me up, he carried me with one hand, and grabbed A'Wu with the other hand, bringing us down away from the fire.

I don’t know how I got through the heavy smoke and flames. I just felt that the fire was scorching, part of my hair was burned. I tried my best to hold my breath, using my silk cloak to cover my mouth and nose. I don't know how long it took before I realized that I was already at the bottom of the Cheng Tian gate. The whole Cheng Tian Gate had been caged in the raging flames.

I was placed down, so scared that I couldn't calm down. The man who saved me anxiously called me: "Your ladyship."

The Cheng Tian gate became a huge fire, the flames lit up half of the night sky. I recognized through the light emitted by the flames that the man was the servant who was arranged by my father to be by my side. I only remember his surname was Lu, Xing Er. Everyone calls him Lu Er Lang, he was usually not very talkative.

People kept escaping from Cheng Tian Gate. The palace maids had also escaped from the fire, the thick smoke had darkened their faces. Many people cried when they saw me, especially the servants who knew me. Everyone was anxious, they had tightly surrounded A'Wu and I, like a flock of frightened birds.

Behind me was the sound of horses' footsteps. It was very chaotic on the streets. In fact, every year when it was time to watch the lights, the Capital would prepare plenty of water in case the place catches on fire, but with this kind of intensity, I am afraid the fire would not be extinguished in time.

Sure enough, an imperial edict was issued from the palace, allowing General Long Wu to personally lead the army to close all nine gates within the city while extinguishing the fire to save people.

Soon the streets resumed back to normal, and I was sent back to the Eastern Palace.

Although I have been through a difficult situation, I quickly calmed down while I was in the carriage.

Lu Er Lang had whispered a few words to A'Wu through the window. A'Wu turned around to relay his message to me, saying that the fire at the Cheng Tian gate was quite strange, and that I should be careful.

I nodded.

When I had calmed down, I also felt that the fire was ignited in a strange way. The fire came too fast and too violently, but it was Cheng Tian Gate, who would dare to set such a fire under the eyes of the Emperor.

This was basically treason.

I thought, the fire was ignited to harm the Crown Prince. After all, the Emperor was ill and nursing his health, although not many people knew about it. But even though not many people knew about it, the people who knew were not small in numbers. People within the palace had known that the Emperor did not go to the Cheng Tian gate, so the Crown Prince had went instead.

Thinking of the Crown Prince, I suddenly felt worried. Fortunately, the Crown Prince had went back to the palace early, otherwise he would be in danger.

After a long time have passed, whenever I thought of that night, I felt that I was ridiculously stupid.

Who else could put a fire at Cheng Tian Gate and immediately mobilize General Long Wu to close the nine city gates, of course there was only one person.

He could do such a thing under the eyes of his Majesty, when it was only to save the Crown Princess.

As for me, I finally figured it out. He actually wanted to burn me to death on the Cheng Tian gate.

Otherwise, why was the fire ignited in front of my eyes.

I didn't understand that he was such a cruel person until I saw that cat.

That cat was given to the Crown Princess by General Pei.

After she returned to the Eastern Palace, she was sick for a long time. Perhaps to make her happy, General Pei specially sent a cat to the Crown Princess. The Crown Princess named the the cat Xiao Xue, she loves it very much.

Even though I like cats, I did not like that cat because the cat belongs to the Crown Princess.

But I did not expect that there would be someone who would hate that cat more than me.

Xiao Xue died when it was drowned in a pond.

The Crown Princess was heartbroken.

After she returned to the Eastern Palace, she fell so ill that she was thin to the bones as if she was like a candle, a gust of wind would blow her away.

The Crown Prince then specially went out of his way to find another cat, which looked exactly like Xiao Xue, but I don't know where he bought it. I stood in the alley, watching him carefully hold the cat as if he was holding some kind of treasure. He walked in front of the palace hall, but he suddenly changed his mind, ordering someone to bring it to the Crown Princess. He waited outside the door.

I suddenly remembered that a long time ago, he was standing on the bridge like this.

I actually knew at that time he was thinking of her.

To yearn, look at one another, but not be together in the end. Because of these affections, one would stand there alone silently.

I felt that I was just a joke.

When the situation happened, I didn't actually panic.

I knew that this day would come. He had planned it a long time ago, the Crown Prince was a man who would consider the next hundred steps when he takes one step. Even though I am a bit smart, I am not his opponent.

A complete failure.

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