东宫 Eastern Palace: Chapter 32

I am sorry for dragging this for the nth time, but since we are quarantined right now, we have a lot of free time to work on this translation project, so we should be able to finish it. I know right now is a very difficult time, so wherever you readers are, stay safe and happy reading.

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I thought he would kill me, but instead he broke the rope that was tied to my hands and said to me, "You must have suffered." I looked at him with my head bent, calmly said: "Gu Xiao Wu, one day I will kill you and avenge my grandfather. You traitor, scoundrel." I couldn't curse out any harsher words, instead only repeatedly cursing at him. He wasn't angry at all, but he smiled at me: "If you're angry, you can keep cursing at me." I looked at him like I was looking at a stranger. This man walked out of our wedding and led thirty thousand Turks to fight. However, it was not expected that he would join forces with the Yuezhi. Besides completely wiping out the thirty thousand Turk army, the armies of the Central Plains and the Yuezhi had also stormed into the tents. My grandfather was caught off guard, so he was killed. The Turks are dead! Two hundred thousand people......What kind of massacre was that? It was as if A’Du and I have escaped from the Devas and Asuras war [1], the grassland was covered by the bloods of two hundred thousand people, and the person who was in charge of this massacre was standing here all this time.

I was finally getting tired of cursing so I just sat there trying to figure out what his heart was made out of. I looked at him tiredly and said, "You lied to me for so long, why don't you kill me now?" He looked at me and didn't say anything for a long time. After some time have passed, he suddenly turned his head and looked at the sunlight that was coming in from the curtains. The curtains, originally snow-white, are now black and gray in dust. The early autumn sunshine was perfect, shining on the floor, reflecting our shadows. He suddenly grabbed my wrist, there was no strength in my wrist, so the knife that I was about to use fell to the ground. It was his knife, he was supposed to switch knives with He Shi to become sworn brothers. However He Shi gave me the knife instead. A’Du and I were in a difficult situation, I have been hiding this knife, wanting to use it to kill myself at the very last moment so I don't have to get humiliated by the enemies. He looked at me and said, "You shouldn’t do this kind of foolish thing.” "Foolish thing?” I almost wanted to laugh, who else in this world was more foolish than me? I believed in a man and was almost married to him. This person was a traitor sent by the Central Plains. I thought that he would die in the battle against the Yuezhi, I wanted to avenge for him. 

At this time, suddenly someone came in and exchanged a few words with Gu Xiao Wu. Gu Xiao Wu’s expression suddenly changed, he grabbed the knife and left the tent. I was extremely tired so I was just lying down motionless. I don’t know how much time have passed, someone gently pulled my clothing and called out my name: "Xiao Feng! " When I turned around, it was Shifu.  I couldn’t help, but feel overjoyed, holding his hand and asking, "How come you are here?" Shifu said to me: “This is not the place to talk, I’ll take you away." He pulled out his sword to cut a hole in the tent and then we slipped out of the tent. There were several horses there, we both got on the horses, and we were about to rush out of the camp when I suddenly thought, "A’Du! Also A’Du! " "What about A’Du?" I said: “He Shi’s little sister A’Du, she rushed out to protect me, I can't just leave her." Shifu couldn't do anything but take me back to search for A’Du. We were looking for A’Du in the camp where the prisoners were located. However the guards noticed us. Although Shifu was skilled, he was trapped in an area filled with camps, so the fight was very hard to escape. In the camp, there was already commotion with more people coming from all sides. Seeing that we were at a disadvantage, Shifu kept on fighting and retreating until he had reached the stable. He lit the fire, throwing it into the fodder.

The big camp's stable with their tons of fodder was in a state of fire. There was a huge uproar in the camp, and everyone rushed to help put out the fire. Seizing this chance, Shifu brought A’Du out. The army from the Central Plain was strict and disciplined, and after a short period of time have passed, the turmoil in the camp has gradually subsided with some people rushing to rescue the fire, while others were riding horses chasing after us.

Fighting and retreating until we have reached the bottom of Tian Gen mountain. The number of soldiers were increasing. I looked at the yellow flags that the soldiers were holding. I didn’t understand the Central Plains words that were written on it, so I asked Shifu: "Are these people from the Anxi county protectorate?" I already knew Central Plains have armies in the Anxi county protectorate, but I did not expect that the number would be this strong.

There were a few drops of blood on his cheeks, being the tidy person that he was, he used his hands to wipe off the blood.  Laughing coldly: "Where in Anxi County would there be this kind of army?.....These people are the Yu Lin army of the Eastern Palace, the Yu Lin army of the Central Plains, all of whom are disciples of influential families.  You see every one of them are striving to be on the top, wanting to achieve great accomplishments. I asked: "What is the great accomplishment?" Shifu said: "Capturing you alive is the great accomplishment." I have never thought that I would be that important. The army was chasing us, continuously shouting at us. Someone even learned how to speak weird Western Liang language, saying that our only opportunity to live was to back down and escape. If it was as usual, I would have turned around and killed them. But after a series of twists and turns, I finally knew that one against an army of ten thousand soldiers was like a droplet in the ocean, like the grass before the hurricane. No one could withstand such a large number of soldiers by themselves; Grandfather cannot, He Shi cannot, Shifu cannot as well.

When it was dark, we fled into the Tian Gen mountain, while the army stayed at the foot of the mountain. From behind the rocks, we could see a bonfire under the mountain. A row of fire moving like a dragon could be seen at a close distance, which is the constant rush of assistance from the camp. I finally asked Shifu, "Who is Gu Xiao Wu?" “His surname is not Gu." Shifu's tone was as calm as usual: “He is Li Cheng Yin, the fifth son of the Emperor of the Central Plains, and the Crown Prince of the Eastern Palace." I had only guessed that Gu Xiao Wu was not a tea merchant. However after this situation, I thought that he would be a general of the Central Plains, but he is so young. There are many famous generals in the Central Plains, but no one had heard of a general with the surname Gu. So it turned out his surname is not Gu. Not only was his surname not Gu, but he also had a very distinguished identity.

I don't know if I wanted to cry or laugh.

I remembered the envoy of the Central Plains. When the envoy first came to seek marriage in place of the Crown Prince of the Central Plains, I could never have imagined that the situation from then would turn out this way. At that time, I didn't have any good feelings towards the Central Plains, but I didn't hate it as much as I do now. "Why did he say his surname is Gu?" Shifu hesitated for a moment, which was something I never thought he would do, but finally he told me the truth: "Because his mother’s surname is Gu.” When I looked at Shifu, I couldn't see anything in the dark, his voice was low and slow: "Yes, you knew my surname is Gu. His mother, Consort Shu was my aunt. I am actually not a good person, his Majesty had ordered him to head out to the West, but he sent me as an insider to sneak into Western Liang......" My mind was in a mess like a pot of porridge. I thought for a while until I could finally remember Shifu’s name, and I quietly called his name: "Gu Jian!" I asked him: "So when are you going to kill me, or when are you going to take me as an exchange to His Highness?" Gu Jian didn't answer, although in the dark I could see his miserable smile. It was a long time before he said, "You know I wouldn't do that. "My heart's burning hatred was like a burning flame, which could devour my heart. I found myself holding a pointy stone in my hand, the tiny sharp edges deeply embedded in my palm. My voice still bears a grudge: "You people of the Central Plains, is there anything else you can’t do? You've been lying to me all this time! Gu Xiao Wu lied to me, and you lied to me again and again! You wanted to get to know me, so that you can plan all this? What else can’t you do?! You lied to me again and again and again, and you lied to my father who had trusted you! Tricking me into calling you Shifu......" It wasn't fair to him, I was pouring curses on him, cursing all the Central Plains people as liars. Actually, I know in my heart that I only hated Gu Xiao Wu, how could he treat me like this? I've never had such a strong hatred, if Gu Xiao Wu killed me, if Shifu didn't save me, then maybe I would have been dead......I've been scolding for a long time, and finally I was tired. I looked at Gu Jian and ridiculed him: "You came to save me this time, is it a trap?......Will it be so good that you will receive a reward from the Emperor of the Central Plains?" Shifu looked at me, and after a while he said, "Xiao Feng, I indeed have other intentions of getting to know you. Before I was lying to you, but...... but every time I lied to you, I always felt sad.

You are still a child, no matter how I lied to you, you would always believe me, the more I lied to you, the more guilty I felt. I sent a pigeon to deliver a letter to Li Cheng Yin, at that time I really wanted him to never come...... You were waiting on the sandy hill, I was actually looking at you at a close distance, watching you wait there, waiting for three days and three nights...... That night the moonlight was shining on your face, I looked at the expression on your face that was like the little fox that you were singing about in your song......" His voice slowly became low, "I know that I'm a devil...... and you're still a kid...... However at that time, I had really wanted Li Cheng Yin to never show up, so that I may take you away......Take you somewhere else, leave Western Liang...... However he came, everything was planned, and I had to stay away from you......I don't know...... I was hoping that you might not like him......But......When Li Cheng Yin was going to kill the Wolf King, I knew it was past the point of no return.

　　I helped him kill the Wolf King, his leg was bitten by the Wolf King. I said to him: Your Highness, why is this necessary? Actually, I despise myself even more, what was the point in doing all this?...... I know he killed the Wolf King just to see you again. I helped him, I actually pushed you into his arms......" I don't know what he was talking about, his expression was miserable, finally he said, "Xiao Feng, I'm sorry." I didn’t say anything, there was no one in this world that should feel apologetic towards me, only I should feel apologetic to others.

I am sorry to my grandfather because I lead the wolf into the house[2]. My grandfather had trusted Gu Xiao Wu, and as a result caused the destruction of the Tujue army.

I am sorry to He Shi. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have died.

I am sorry to A’Du. If it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t get hurt.

I am sorry to the Turks. They were my family, but I led them to be killed ruthlessly.

There wasn’t anyone in this world that had let me down except for Gu Xiao Wu.....However that doesn't matter anymore because I'll kill him. I'll always have a chance to kill him......I looked at the stars above my head and swore in the name of God that one day I will kill him.

I slept in the morning until the sound of drums from the bottom of the mountain woke me up. When I opened my eyes, I saw A’Du jumping up and Gu Jian calmly telling her, "Take the princess away.” "I'm not leaving." I stubbornly said, “If we have to die, all three of us will die together." “I will distract the enemies, you will leave with A”Du." Gu Jian pulled out his sword, his tone of voice was calm, "Li Chengyin has a strong temperament, do you expect him to be sincere to you? If you fall into his hands, this will just help him suppress Western Liang." Western Liang!

　　I was startled that I almost jumped up, Gu Jian looked at me, I was speechless: "He still wants to attack the Western Liang?" Gu Jian smiled and said: "For a ruler, when will there be an end for this world?" I couldn't say anything, the sound of drums 'tong, tong, tong' could be heard three times, the Central Plains people at the bottom began to charge. Gu Jian said to me: "Go!" A'Du pulled me away, although she was slightly injured, her hands were still very flexible. She pulled me up from the hill, but I hurried back a couple of steps, to see Gu Jian standing alone on the top of the hill. The early morning sun was shining directly at him. The white robe he wore which was originally covered with fresh blood from yesterday's fight, had turned into dark purple blood scabs after the night. As he stood in the middle of the sunlight, like a deity with a long sword in his hand and wind blowing at his clothes, everything he said to me last night was like a dream. I remembered when I first met him, he was rescuing a young child from a bolting horse, his white robe rolling over the sand and covered with dust, but at that time he was so powerful like he could prevent the world from falling apart. Those times now seem like a dream. Everything that had happened during the past few days is now like a nightmare for me.

　　I'm walking around the mountains with A'Du, hiding during the day and running during the night. Although the Central Plains army was searching the mountains, we were able to hide skillfully, and they could not find us at the moment. We hid in the mountains for days, drinking snow water when we are thirsty, and digging gerbil holes where seeds of grass and dried fruits are stored to feed us. We didn't know if Gu Jian was still alive or how many days he has been hiding in the mountains.

　　It was already the eighth month because it began to snow. It seems like just one night have passed, and Tian Gen mountain was suddenly covered with snowflakes, the grass turning yellow and frost was everywhere. It was no longer possible to hide in the snowy mountains, even the antelopes don't come out looking for food anymore. At night, the winds could freeze people alive. The Central Plains army should have withdrawn before it snowed, because if the army were trapped in the snow, it would be a terrible thing if the amount of army rations are low; the general in charge must have considered this. After two days of hiding in the mountains, we didn't see any traces of the mountain being searched, so we decided to take the risk to go down the mountain.

　　We were in luck, after going down the mountain and heading south the whole day, we encountered a shepherd. The shepherd boiled snow to wash our hands and face, and cooked lamb meat for us to eat. A'Du and I were like two savage people, we have been hiding in the mountains for too long; we kept on eating but still couldn't fill our stomachs, hiding between the mountains would be even hard to bear after the snow ends. After finishing drinking goat milk in a warm tent, A'Du and I felt like we had left the underworld and returned to earth. Although this shepherd is a Yue Zhi, he was very sympathetic towards the fate of the Turkic people; he thought that we were Turkic women who had escaped, so he treated us very well. He told us that the Central Plains army had gone south, and that thousands of Turks had fled, heading further to the west.

　　I didn't think much, the warm milk had melted my determination to take revenge, and I knew that we could not resist the Central Plains people, nor could I ever avenge my grandfather. I decided to take A'Du back to Western Liang. I miss my father, I miss my mother even more. I was anxious to go back, so that I could tell my father what had happened to the Turkic people and that he should be careful and guard against the Central Plains people. My grandfather had died, and my mother would feel deeply hurt when she learns of this, so I was anxious to see her and comfort her. Although my grandfather is no longer here, but my mother still has me.

Notes:
[1] 修罗场 Devas and Asuras war- This is a Hindu mythological war between two supernatural groups. This term is often used to describe the brutality of war.
[2] 引狼入室 To lead the wolf into the house- The literal translation of this idiom is leading the wolf into the house, which means asking for trouble.

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